This is an email I sent to some people today. I was like, “Man, this funny and enraging all at once, I wish I could show it to some people.” Then I remembered I done started writing this here blog a while back. Enjoy!
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Citiflight, Inc., the transportation division of Citigroup, just completed their order on a 2009 Dassault Falcon 7X. For those of you who aren’t as big of airplane nerds as I am, that’s a $50 million private jet that makes first class on an airline feel like a prison bus.
This plane is so boss.
Now, Citigroup just received a guarantee from the US government that we would “backstop” $300 billion in bad investments. The “backstop” is constructed as follows:
Citigroup is responsible for $40 billion of their losses which have already been carved out of their books
Treasury takes $5 billion
FDIC takes $10 billion
and the Fed backs up THE REST. For those of you counting at home that means that the government is responsible for $260 billion of Citigroups shitty decisions.
This does not include a $20 billion “capital injection” (sort of like when you spice a turkey, but with loads of taxpayer cash instead of tasty garlic/onion rub) that Citi is privy to just for being retards.
What’s my point? My point is that by my calculations ($280 billion divided by an estimated 140 million US taxpayers) we’re putting approx $2,000 each of our own asses on the line.
I went to Orbitz, Travelocity, and Expedia and just couldn’t seem to find a decent international flight on a Dassault 7X, so I got the brilliant idea of calling Citiflight, Inc. in White Plains, NY and asking for a ride to Costa Rica this April.
Here is Citiflight’s number along with a few of their exec’s contact info:
914.989.2300
Treasurer name – Alan Goldstein – can’t figure this one out.
VP – Louis Fama – reach him by pressing 2 then entering 3262#
VP – Jim Moore – reach him by pressing 2 then entering 666 (ha)
I got ahold of “Lou” Fama and he took my name and number and, hopefully I’ll be given the ride I want! Or he’ll take a corporate funded hit out on me for bothering him. Either way, I think this is pretty silly and just thought I’d share with you all another reason why we’re throwing our money down the toilet by giving it to people who have no idea what it means to work for money.